Greg Keeler - Cheap Coyote Tricks

Too Tired

Coyote took an inflatable
plastic pig out of
his trunk and
rushed down
to the beach.
"Surf's up,"
said Coyote
plunging into
the breakers
and onto the pig.
But he punctured the pig
and it squealed down
to a little bladder
under him.
He spent the rest of the
day lying in the sun
because he was too
tired to go back to the car
and get another pig.

Alarm Clock Salvation

Coyote slipped into his costume
that made him look like a giant
insect. But before he could get
it completely zipped up, a huge
spider descended above him.
"Oh, heh heh. Only kidding,"
said Coyote. "See, I'm just
a coyote." But the spider
kept descending and
snapping its shiny black jaws.
At that moment, Coyote awoke to
the merry jingling of his alarm clock
and looked down to see a tick
biting him on his soft underbelly.
"Oh, ha ha," said Coyote.
"It is just you, Tick.
I thought you were a giant spider."
While he was talking, he saw
a little zipper move on Tick, and
a tiny Marlin Perkins stepped out.
For the rest of the night,
Coyote sat up waiting to hear
again the merry jingling of
his alarm clock.

Matterhorn Whiffle-Ball

Coyote looked in the
mirror and noticed a
huge pimple on his nose.
Upon closer inspection,
he noticed Marlin Perkins
climbing the pimple
carrying a pick axe. Upon
even closer inspection,
Coyote noticed that it wasn't
a pick axe. It was a whiffle
ball bat. "Play ball,"
said Coyote, splattering
Marlin and his little bat
all over the mirror.

Dead Glove Snorkling Tragedy

Snorkling in the Bahamas,
Crow noticed a large grouper
suspended in a cave of coral,
its fins barely moving.
Deftly, Crow slipped a rubber
glove over the grouper's
mouth and it floundered off
horrified. Spotting the
floundering grouper, Jacques
Cousteau carefully captured it,
gently removed the rubber glove,
and put it in a plastic bag.
That night Cousteau and
his men trudged to their
hammocks in despair, for
on the bottom of a faintly
illuminated aquarium in
the bowels of the Calypso lay the
rubber glove,
dead.