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The
Four Hamsters of the Apocalypse
Large clouds rolled up over Coyote's
house and hail the size of beach balls
began to boom down around him. He
saw one crash through the roof of
Crow's house, and then he saw Crow
rushing out only to be pelted by
one. Soon a metalloid rabbit loomed
up on the horizon towering above the
foothills. In the foreground, giant
hamsters raced across the sunset
riding stallions. "It's the four
hamsters of the apocalypse!"screamed
Coyote as a giant ball of hail burst
into flame on the ground before him.
Then a vision came to Coyote. Marlin
Perkins was walking toward him in
white robes, the four hamsters blazing
in glory behind him. But as it turned out
it was really Marlin Perkins, and he was
wearing his bath robe. "Care to join
me and the hamsters in the bathtub?"
said Marlin. "The hails's pretty bad
outside, and Martha has taken the
metalloid rabbit to Walla Walla."
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Solomon Toe-Nail Rip-Off
Coyote did not clip his
toe-nails very often, but
when he did, they were often
very large and difficult
to cut. Once Coyote's toe-nail
on his big toe was so large
and tough that he had to ask
Badger to bite it off. Badger
was glad to oblige and took
a ferocious chomp at the
stubborn nail. He chomped so
hard that it flew down his
throat, and he almost choked
before it spewed out in an
enormous cough and stuck in the
sky. "Look," said Badger.
"I've created the moon." "No,
you haven't," said Coyote.
"It's MY toe-nail." So they
took their argument to the wise
Marlin Perkins who said, "I
will have my man cut the moon
in half with his sword that
both of you may have your wish."
"Sounds good to me," said Badger.
"No," said Coyote. "I would
rather it be Badger's moon than
have it cut in half."
"I guess we all know how
this one ends, don't we?"
said the wise Marlin Perkins.
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