Cheap Coyote Tricks      by Greg Keeler         Page 13               

 
Pie Ramp Atonement

Coyote felt guilty because
many of his friends had suffered
in horrid wars, and he had not.
To appease his guilt, he darted
around his neighborhood in combat
fatigues, planting relatively
harmless booby traps. Perhaps
the most vicious of these was
a ramp of pies that sprang up on
a plank splattering paper boys
and mailmen. One of the mailmen
was a Viet Nam vet who
laughed a little as he scraped
pie from his uniform then
lashed Coyote to the ramp and
sprang it on a mound of chicken shit.

 

  
Politically Incorrect Coyote

"That was no narrator,
that was my life," said
Coyote, finishing his little joke
and looking around for
approval and chuckles.
But no one was chuckling.
"What have you got against life?"
said Wren. "Life hell!" said
Marlin Perkins. "What have you
got against narrators?"
"But it was a joke," said Coyote.
"Just a joke."

Unrequited Cheeseburger Love

Coyote picked up the cheeseburger.
It was warm. It was moist. He
wanted it. He liked to imagine
that it wanted him. But in
reality, it didn't want him at all.
It couldn't want anything.
It was just a cheeseburger.

 

 

 


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Swimming Trunk Toaster Taboo
 
Coyote approached
the club house. Above
the door was a sign saying
LARGE BUDDIES.
Sure enough.
Inside everyone was large
and appeared to be buddies.
On the wall was a sign saying
NO SWIMMING TRUNKS.
It was illustrated by a picture
of Mickey Rooney being hammered
through a huge toaster.