Cheap Coyote Tricks      by Greg Keeler         Page 14                

 
June Bug Tube Sock Western

"Do you have any last
requests before I pull
the trap door?" said
the hangman. "Yes,"
said Coyote.
"Too bad," said the hangman.
But at that moment Marlin
Perkins appeared in the
crowd riding a giant
microphone. "Grab
this casaba melon,"
yelled Marlin.
"I've pasted June bugs
all over my body
and the tube socks
are waiting around back."

  
Hot Dog Epiphany

One morning Coyote awoke
from a fitful slumber
to find two hot dogs
taped to the sides of 
his head. He rolled
over to Fox (who had turned
into a cockroach) sleeping
next to him and asked,
"Could these be symbols?"
"No," the cockroach mumbled.
"I think they're hot dogs."


It Was a Living

"Catch," yelled Crow, and he
threw a large bag of crickets
to Coyote from the window of
a speeding locomotive. Soon
another locomotive sped by from
the other direction, and Fox
threw a huge crate of tiny 
rubber suits from the window.
Coyote then dressed each cricket
in a little suit and lashed
them individually to the
railroad tracks. This was the
part that always bored Coyote 
the most, but what the hell,
it was a living. And if it
got too bad, he could always
force the crickets to sing
"Whistle While You Work."

 

 

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Wet Bottom Literary Blues

Sometimes in early spring
when tiny buds were just
forming on the trees, Fox,
Coyote, Crow and Badger
would sit out on the damp
grass next to the river and
tell each other tales. But
the tales had to be very
short, for the wet grass 
would soak through their
pants and make their 
bottoms itch. One day 
at the end of spring, Coyote
said, "We've created SHORT
STORY!" But the days were
getting longer and the grass
was drying out. That's when
Daniel Defoe and Samuel
Richardson stumbled into
the little group and asked
if they might help. "No,"
said Coyote, observing their
dry pants. "Neither of you
has paid his dues."