Cheap Coyote Tricks      by Greg Keeler         Page 15                 

 
Package Tour Innuendo

Coyote enlisted in a
package tour of Europe.
He didn't enjoy it very
much because he was
never allowed to leave
the group. One day in
Rome, Coyote paused by 
a fountain that looked
like a urinating cherub 
and commented to an
ancient woman in a puce
pant suit, "Why is it that
we are always confined
to this group." The
ancient woman pointed to
the creases of her wizened
face saying, "You expected
maybe a Gypsy fling already?"
Coyote dabbled his paw
in the stream of simulated
urine. "Yes," he said, "maybe."

  
Bathroom Etiquette Research

Coyote entered the men's room
to wash his paws. Beneath the
door on one of the stalls, he saw
Badger's feet. "Well Badger,
how's it going these days?"
said Coyote, hoping to break
the slight barrier that the most
basic bodily functions can throw
up between ordinarily casual
relationships. But there was
no response. "I can't really
blame Badger for not responding,"
thought Coyote. "After all, most
creatures are not as uninhibited
as I am." But two hours later
when Coyote entered the men's room
again, Badger's feet were still
planted in the same position in
the same stall. Failing again to
get a response from Badger, Coyote
entered the adjacent stall and
peered over the top of the petition.
There he saw two fake Badger feet
helping to support a little platform
on top of which sat a tape recorder
whirring silently to itself.
At that minute, Badger entered
the men's room and saw Coyote's
ears poking over the top of the stall.
"Well, Coyote, How's it going these
days?" said Badger, but the only sound
was the tiny hum of the tape recorder.
 


Job Hunt

Coyote went to the
employment agency,
but the only position open
was one as narrator of
the upcoming feature film,
The Life of Marlin Perkins.
"What do you think, Marlin?"
asked Coyote, turning and
speaking into the little
microphone behind him.

Roughing It

Coyote swung his Winnebago
into a KOA Kampground as
Crow and Fox sat in the
back playing cards. 
"Why are we stopping here?"
said Crow. "I thought we
were going to rough it."
"Gin!" said Fox.

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