Greg Keeler - Cheap Coyote Tricks

Cheap Coyote Tricks by Greg Keeler Page 21

The Truth

"Where is the truth?"
asked Coyote.
"It's at the bottom of
that well over there."
said Crow.
Coyote slumped over the
edge of the well and
peered into the
dripping depths.
"There seems to be
a duck down here,"
said Coyote.
"Duck--truth--
what's the difference?"
said Crow.
Coyote sat and
listened to the faint
quacking coming from
the depths. It sounded
like someone beating a
ham against the
side of a bath tub.

Pig's Point

Coyote stuck his nose down
to get a whiff of a large
piece of meat draped over
a cyanide trap, but before
he could take a bite,
Pig rushed up and devoured
the meat and trap in one gulp.
"This above all," said Pig
with cyanide spewing from
his nostrils, "to thine own
self be true, and it must
follow, as the night the day,
thou canst not then be false
to any man." Viewing Pig's
strange pink feet sticking
straight up in the air a few
moments later, Coyote figured
that Pig must have had
a pretty valid point.

Coyote's Church Camp Lesson

Over the crackle of the camp fire
Coyote began his story.
"Fox had a swimming pool
built in the shape of
an enormous mouse. But
instead of water, he filled
the mouse up with popcorn.
He liked to swim in the winter
and water was too cold
for that. One January morning
as Fox was doing the backstroke
through his popcorn, a small
mouse appeared on the edge of
the swimming pool and fell to
its knees praying. 'What are
you praying for?' asked Fox.
'I am praying because the
prophesy has been fulfilled,'
stuttered the mouse.
'What prophesy is that?' asked
Fox. 'It goes like this,' said
the mouse: 'When the fox
swims in the middle of the winter,
then will I bring you a giant
mouse full of popcorn.'
"And that," said Coyote, "is
the lesson for today. But remember,
because popcorn-filled mouse pools
are so hard to build, we just use
crosses these days. Class dismissed."

Coyote Who?

"Knock knock,"
said Coyote. "Who's
there?" said Crow.
"Coyote," said Coyote.
"Coyote who?" said Crow.
Coyote left offended
because Crow didn't
remember him.