Cheap Coyote Tricks      by Greg Keeler         Page 38               

 
The Parable of the Cellular Phone

The airplane above 
Badger was becoming
a tiny dot as he
furiously tugged
at the ripcord
on his parachute.
"Oh, Jesus," said Badger,
"if you'll just let my
parachute open,
I promise to give up
my soulless quest
for the almighty dollar
and devote my life
to helping others."
As soon as his parachute
opened, Badger pulled
a cellular phone from
his jumpsuit, poked a few
numbers and said,
"Sell Acme Parachute.

  
Moose's Faux Pas

"Hey, Duck, what time is it?"
said Moose to Duck.
"That's Dr. Duck," said Duck.
"Oh, excuse me, Dr. Duck,"
said Moose. "Hey, Dr. Duck,
what time is it?"
"That's more like it," 
said Duck, officiously
darting his Rolex from
the cuff of his tweed jacket.
"The long bunny ear is on
the twelve and the short
bunny ear is on the six."
 
He Didn't Look Half Bad

Strutting down 
the sidewalk
on Main Street,
Crow couldn't
help but noticing
his reflection in the
store-front windows.
He puffed himself up, 
cocked his hat, and,
just before he walked
into a lamp post,
actually said out loud,
"Heck, for my age, 
I don't look half bad." 


 

 

 

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Coyote's New Clothes

Coyote stood naked before
Fox, Badger and Crow.
"Oh, look at Coyote's
beautiful new clothes,"
said Fox. "Thank you," 
said Coyote, "and
by the way Fox, 
you're due for a
promotion in the company."
"Why yes," said Crow,
"you do look quite dapper
in that new outfit."
"I've been meaning
to tell you Crow," 
said Coyote. You're due
for a large raise."
"Hold everything," 
said Badger. "Coyote's
totally naked. You guys
are just sucking up to him!"
"That's very perceptive of you,"
said Coyote. "Yes," said Fox
and Crow in unison. 
"That's very perceptive."
"Why, thank you," said Badger,
returning his pistol to its holster.