Cheap Coyote Tricks      by Greg Keeler         Page 4                   

 
Marlin Perkins' Hobo Segwe

One day Fox and Crow
decided to hop a freight
for Minneapolis. It was
very cold and Fox's paws
were not working very well,
but Crow's wings were working
even worse. Fox managed to
snag the edge of the box-car
door as it moved past 
and awkwardly dragged Crow in
by his tail feathers after
securing a hold on an object
behind him. The object, of course,
turned out to be Marlin Perkins.
"GAAAAAAAA," screamed Crow and
Fox. "Please don't narrate our
devil-may-care Gypsy fling to
Minneapolis." Marlin Perkins
ignored them and began:
"Just as Crow and Fox make
their instinctive sojourn
in the early fall when the leaves
are crimson and the beaver is
storing twigs away for the
long winter, so does
Mutual of Omaha...."

  
Marlin and Mormons, Coyote and Krishnas

Coyote finally gave up. He no longer
cared if Marlin Perkins followed him
on his Gypsy flings, narrating his life
and shoving cameras into his most
private moments. They both sat together
on the 747 that flew them to Istanbul.
Coyote wanted to be sinful,
smuggle hashish, have daring encounters
with Interpol, and end his life quickly
but with panache in a battle with square
automatic pistols somewhere near
the Iranian border. Marlin Perkins
pretended that he wanted to follow
Coyote around with equipment,
but his secret desire was to have a
daring conversation with the Mormon 
woman who sat next to him in the
airport while Coyote tried to sell
drugs to the Hari Krishnas. As it
turned out, neither of them had
much fun on the trip. Both
of them developed tremendous bowel
problems and this formed the basis
of their most animated discussions.


 

Corinthian Leather Nostalgia

The snowmobiles of destiny
came howling down on Coyote.
He ran from them for a little
while but realized that it
didn't do any good. The snow
was too deep and the snowmobiles
were too fast. But eventually
he grew to like them, especially
the seat covers with their
look of fine Corinthian leather.


 

Post-Structural Coyote

Crow entered Coyote's library,
pulled an ancient volume
from a shelf and opened it.
The volume was hollowed out
and filled with minute carvings 
of books. He pulled another volume
from a shelf and tried to open
it but it was just a larger
carving. "None of these books is
real," said Crow. "So," said Coyote
defensively. "Some of us prefer fiction."

Next Page