Cheap Coyote Tricks      by Greg Keeler         Page 42               

 
The Cult of the Rubber Glove

When Coyote went to
answer his door bell,
he found Missionary
standing in front of 
him. "Pardon me," said
Missionary, "but I would
like to talk to you
about God." "Heck,"
said Coyote, "Why
talk about God when
you can talk to God."
Then, he squeezed the bulb
on an old bicycle horn, the
flushing of a toilet resounded,
and Bunny came out of the
bathroom in a bed sheet
with a clothes-hanger halo
over her head, blowing up
a rubber glove.
"Behold Her mighty hand!"
said Bunny, poking Missionary
in the nose with the
inflated rubber glove. 

  
Nose-Hair Neutering Tragedy

As Bazark stepped from his
landing vehicle, he saw 
Coyote approaching him
across a meadow. "Is this
the planet of handy gadgets"?
yelled Bazark. For at last
Bazark had reached Earth,
the planet on which the native
intelligence had soared beyond
the cyber-profungaloids of Bugdik,
natives whose empathic powers 
were matched only by psychotropics 
on the first moon of Heliodon. 
"This is the place," said Coyote,
whipping out an electric nose
trimmer and briskly buzzing
off Bazark's sex organs which
bore a striking resemblance
to nose hairs.

 
Are We Bonding or What?

Boom boom boom boom
boom boom boom boom
went the drum as Moose,
Pig and Sheep cavorted
around a blazing fire,
screaming and whacking
the ground with sticks
in a primal ritual of
masculine bonding.
But the booming and
cavorting sort of died 
down when Coyote entered
the firelight in a bra and panties.
"Come on guys," said Coyote,
"let's get serious."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The Passing of Wisdom's Crown

As Coyote sat atop
an ivory pedestal
wearing The White
Crown of Wisdom and
contemplating the
universe, an angry
youth approached
him. "Everything 
you old farts think
and believe is a lie!"
said the youth, his
eyes blazing and 
his voice shaking.
"Then perhaps you
would like to replace
me on this pedestal,"
said Coyote. "Yes,
and it's about time,"
said the youth, "but
where's my crown."
"Wisdom comes only
to the deserving,"
said Coyote. "Ha,"
said the youth, 
"again you lie!" But
at that moment a
pigeon landed on his
head and took a big
runny crap. "And 
remember," said Coyote,
"You can't wash it off
until some idiot
volunteers to
replace you."