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The Parable of the Peterbuilt
Coyote met Gopher at the
roadside. "What are you
called," asked Coyote. "I
am Gopher," said Gopher.
"Ah," said Coyote, "but can
we truly say you are
anything more than the
sum of your parts: little
hands, little ears, little
teeth, little phlegm, little
bile, little excrement?"
Indeed, you are not Gopher
but, at once, something more
and something less." Then,
as if to illustrate Coyote's
point, a truck roared by
and made Gopher into
a small, moist frisbee.
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Acme Psychiatry
Coyote kept having a recurrent
dream where he would chase a
road runner but could never
catch it. Instead he would end
up getting hit by trains and buses,
falling thousands of feet into
canyons, getting strapped to
rockets and fired into space, getting
crushed by huge boulders, having
sticks of dynamite explode
in his face, etc. Finally in
desperation, he went to the
psychiatrist. "So there you have
it, Doctor," said Coyote, finishing
his story and staring morosely up
from the couch. "What do you
think? Maybe a persecution
complex? Or a self destructive
impulse compounded by some
early Oedipal trauma?" "Meep
meep," said the psychiatrist,
and the couch blew up.
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| Seemingly Inane
Popcorn Question Bat, Platypus, Ostrich, and Panda
had all been to a workshop in
sensitivity training and were just
getting out of Platypus's shiny new
Volkswagon beetle when Coyote
approached them and said,
"Where's the popcorn?"
" I beg your pardon, but I don't
understand, sat Platypus in
as sensitive a voice as he could muster
because he thought Coyote must be
developmentally disabled to ask
such an inane question.
"I don't know what's to understand,"
said Coyote. You see a bunch
of clowns getting out of a goofy little car
you know you're at the circus.
"Where's the popcorn?"
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Pork Barrel Elevator Music
Monkey, Jackass, and Sucker
started their own music label
because none of the major
companies thought their band
would have a wide enough
appeal, They called their
label Junky Suck-Ass Music
and put Pig in charge
of distribution
Sales never really got off
the ground until they hired
Orrin Hatch to play keyboards
and changed their label to
Utah Pork. Now their music
may be heard wafting from
every elevator in
Washington D.C.
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Greg Keeler lives in the Gallatin Valley in southwestern Montana which used to be called the Valley of the Flowers by the natives, but they were displaced by real estate developers who named it after the Secretary of the Treasury under Thomas
Jefferson. These poems probably seem pretty stupid compared to their Native
American models because Greg is from that culture which considers money more important than flowers.
The End |