Cheap Coyote Tricks      by Greg Keeler         Page 9                    

 
Buffalo Scrotum

While he was wading across the
river, Coyote dropped his sunglasses
in the water. Soon he was on his
knees in the shallows groping around
with his paws on the soft bottom. As
his paw came up covered with mud,
Chipmunk skittered up and asked if
he might help. "Thanks," said Coyote,
"but a little fellow like you wouldn't
stand a chance of finding my sunglasses
in water like this." But Chipmunk just
snickered, shot up the bank, and bit
buffalo on the scrotum, so that, in blind
horror, buffalo went lumbering across
the river so fast that, for a moment,
the water parted. Between the walls
of water, Coyote could see Charlton
Heston wearing a flowing robe and
sunglasses. A thousand mumbling Hebrews
milled around behind him. 
"Finders keepers," said Charlton.

  
Scab Fly Droid

The doctor put the tongue depressor
in Coyote's mouth. "Say ahhh," said
the doctor. "Ahhh," said Coyote.
A fly flew into Coyote's mouth. "Don't 
worry," said the doctor. "The fly's
not real. It's made of tiny springs
and screws." Soon the fly bounded
out on the tongue depresser and said
in a computerized voice, "Tonsils normal,
temperature normal." While it was
speaking, the doctor pulled out
a fly swatter and swatted a real fly
that had landed on the bed. The fly
was carrying a little red sign.
"Damned unions," said the doctor.

 
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