ALL YOU CAN EAT
© Greg Keeler 1992

All You Can Eat

On America's highways and America's streets,
Sometimes I feel like my life's incomplete.
But then I cheer up and my heart starts to beat
When I see a sign that says, "ALL YOU CAN EAT."

Chorus (Afganistan, Iraq and Iran, in Pakistan, and in Viet Nam
replace "in The Sudan" in succeeding choruses.)
China needs rice, and Russia needs wheat.
I'm an American man. I need all I can eat.
They're starving in India and in The Sudan.
I need all I can eat. I'm an American man.

Mr. Carver carve me off a piece of that beef.
I'm an American man, I need all I can eat.
Mr. Carver carve me off a piece of that ham.
I need all I can eat, I'm an American man.

Chorus

Mrs. Server serve me up a baked potato.
I need all I can eat. I'm a guy on the go.
Mrs. Server serve me up a piece of that pie.
I need all I can eat. I'm an American guy.

Chorus

On top of desert, I'll have some lemon-lime slop
With fluffy white topping all over the top,
And on top of that, candy sprinkles and nuts,
Until I'm left groaning and holding my guts.

Chorus

I need all I can eat. I'm an American man.
When I've had all I can eat, I'll head for the can
Where I'll blow all that I ate out my ass.
Then I'll head for the buffet for another quick pass.

Chorus (followed by--)
Oh, I'm so full. Maybe just one more piece of chicken,
or some watermelon. (belch)