ENQUIRING MINDS
© Greg Keeler 1990

Enquiring Minds

You got to maximize the woowoo, minimize the evidence.
Never mind about the facts.
All good American citizens and residents
Should sit back and relax.
Yes, maximize the woowoo, minimize the evidence.
Education can be fun.
Forget them ineffectual pointy-headed intellectuals
And remember that we're number one.

Chorus:
Whether we're out on a limb with Shirley McClain
Or watching for a U.F.O.,
How could knowledge get much higher than The National Enquirer,
And enquiring minds want to know.


(British accent) Pardon me, chap, but as a good American,
Aren't you just a little bit alarmed
That your president spouts epithets while your foreign deficit
Explodes, and at home you're losing your farms.


(American Ac.) Listen here, sonny. We got plenty of money.
There's more important things we gotta know
Like about "A Three-Headed Dog" or "Girl Gives Birth to Frog,"
Or "Ghost of Elvis Hosts Talk Show."

Chorus

(Japanese Ac.) Excuse me, honorable Gaijen, but as a good American,
You can't even build a good toy,
Much less a motor car or a VCR.
In other words, you one dumb boy.

(American accent)
'Scuse me little chum, but I ain't all that dumb.
You fellas can handle that technology.
I'm on a higher plain. I got me a New Age brain.
I'm into crystals, ESP and astrology.

Chorus.