ENQUIRING MINDS
© Greg Keeler 1990

House Husband Blues
(to be sung in Dylan voice)

The ol' lady, she came home last night,
Dragged out, mad, and tired.
She said she'd had a hard day at the office.
She said she'd damned near been fired,
So I brought her the morning paper
And put her slippers on her feet.
And she didn't even say thank you
But just asked me, "What's to eat."
I told her that I'd burned the roast,
And she went into a rage,
Screaming words I didn't want to hear,
Words she didn't want to say.
So I returned to cleaning the bathroom
And muttering to myself.
Earlier that day I'd vacuumed the rugs
And dusted every shelf.
But, obviously, she didn't notice a thing.
She just had business on her mind,
And I'd had my hair cut just that morning.
Ah, how could she have been so blind.
So when I asked her if she noticed anything different,
She just looked down at my shoes
And said, "Bobby you've got one bad case
Of those house husband blues."

I stomped into the bedroom.
I slammed and locked the door.
I said, "What do you know about my life,
About the advantages of no-wax floors,
About shopping lists and stain removers
And pickin' up the kids.
The only time you even think about helpin'
Is to loosen stuck jelly jar lids.
And you stay up late at the office,
But when I call, you're never there.
And the other day, cleanin' out from under the bed,
I found some Jockey underwear.
Ah, you know I only wear boxer shorts.
Come on, give me an excuse."
But she was in the kitchen fixin' herself a Bloody Mary,
And all she said was, "Bobby get your butt out here
And help me find the tomatoe juice."
Well, I've fought the dogs of politics,
duplicity, and shame.
I've battled with the beasts of war,
Pursued the dupes of blame.
Smug in my invincibility,
How could I have known I'd lose.
To those subtle servants of domesticity,
To those house husband blues.