MONTANA IN TIME
© Greg Keeler 1989

Post-Modern Blues

Lately my investment portfolio has been paying off, you know,
In a pretty major way, and seein's how I ain't got much culture,
I figured I'd purchase me a little. So I hired me one of these fellas
With real artistic taste to find me the classiest piece of contemporary
Painting he could lay his hands on. So anyway, he brought it by the House
the other day and said, "It's a steal for twenty grand.
Whaddya think?" And I said, "Well, er, uh, that's real nice
And everything, but well, er, uh, what the hell is it?
I'm sure it's worth my twenty grand and all that,
but just what the hell is it?

I went to a poetry reading the other night because I saw this poster
That said this poet had given readings at many major universities
And had gotten many large government grants.
Here's how that poet read:
I see the dog.The dog is in a circle.
I am in a circle With the dog, etc.
But after a while, the poetry started to sound sort of like this:
Hee haw, he haw, hee haw, hee haw,
Hee haw, hee haw, hee haw, hee haw.
So after the reading I went up made a little inquiry as to the subject
Of his poetry. I said, "I don't want to sound anti-intellectual
Or nothin' like that, but well, er, uh, just exactly what the hell is it?

Last fall, our city council hired us a sculptor to sculpt us a sculpture
In our city park for only a hundred thousand dollars. That fella worked
real hard, but we couldn't see what he was doing because he kept the thing
covered with a tarp, and then when winter came, the snow covered it up.
It wasn't till spring came and the snow melted that we all gathered In the
park, and Leroy finally worked up his courage, stepped forward, and
proposed the following question.
Well, I guess by this point in the song you can probably conjecture
As to what that question was, but just in case it happens to have
Eluded you, it had something to do with what that thing was. In fact,
After a while, Leroy came right out and said it. Yup, Leroy said,
"Well, er, uh, what the hell is it.
"Hey, wait a minute. Come over and look at it from this angle.
Don't it kinda look like a moose standin' on its head
And eatin' watermelon--or the Pope with his feet buried
In a big wedge of Cheese. Aw hell, I give up. What the hell is it?"