POST-MODERN BLUES
© Greg Keeler 1988

P-u-b-l-i-c L-a-n-d-s

I found a way to make big bucks,
If you promise not to tell,
>From a public that must be
so damned dumb they can't spell.
So just in case they overhear,
I'll spell out what works best.
Yes, I'll tell you the s-e-c-r-e-t
Of my success.

Chorus:
P-u-b-l-i-c
L-a-n-d-s,
M-i-l-k them for all
They're worth and screw the rest.
Just find you some connections for
An l-e-a-s-e,
And if you play your cards right, it's
Damned near f-r-e-e.

The Bureau of Land M-a-n-a-g-
E-m-e-n-t
Will let you bring your big herd of
C-a-t-t-l-e,
And turn the verdant valleys and
The meadows green and wide
Into piles of p-o-o-p
Down the mountainside.

Chorus

The F-o-r-e-s-t
S-e-r-v-i-c-e
Wants to sell off grizzly
H-a-b-i-t-a-t.
So get your c-h-a-i-n-
S-a-w-s.
What the hell, it's easy bucks,
And Smokey, he knows best.

Chorus

Watch out for e-n-v-i-r-
O-n-m-e-n
T-a-l-i-s-t-s.
They'll try to stop you when
They see you coming with your saws,
your dozers, and your trucks.
But in the West, them wimps is s-
H-i-t out of luck.

Chorus (then Mickey Mouse Club theme ending)

P-u-b, be a long time 'fore this grows back.
L-i-c, see all the cow fop and clearcuts?
L-a-n-d-s.