SHEEP, LIES, AND AUDIO TAPE
© Greg Keeler 1991

Gregory of the Earth

My name is Gregory,
And I am a happy man upon the face of the Earth.
I' have two good hands to play music,
Two good feet to dance.
My blood is peasant--Irish, German.
I will not object if you offer to buy me a beer.
And my hands, they have known the soil.
I have grown goofy leaf lettuce so that I have too much
And must offer it to my neighbors,
Who would rather have iceberg lettuce from the store.
And my woman, let me tell you about my woman.
With strong arms and legs she brings home
Potatos, meat, and watermelon from the supermarket.
If she had to, she could lift a cow.
And her loins, they bore me two fine sons
Who watch only the most interesting television.
She would have born me more
If she had not asked me
To get a vasectomy.

And I love the land and country on which I live.
The money I earned sitting on a hard chair
In a committee meeting helped to pay for a war
Where thousands of men, women and children
Were wiped out by young men who had grown
Wise and proficient in the operation of video games.
Sometimes my woman and I will put a compact disc on the stereo
And let our gypsy blood run wild
Until our sons come all of the way from the television room
To watch us dance and learn our ways.