SHEEP, LIES, AND AUDIO TAPE
© Greg Keeler 1991

The President's Answering Machine

I'm a typical American slob,
And I was worried 'bout losin' my job,
So I called the President to complain,
But I got the President's answering machine.
It said, "I'm off to fight a third world tyrant.
I'm off to keep the first world free.
I'm off to install wall to wall
Carpet bombing luxury.
The price of freedom's not cheap.
Leave your number at the beep."

I was worried we were slammin' the door
On the elderly, the homeless, and poor.
I called the White House askin' what it all means
When I got the President's answering machine.
It said, "I'm out right now serving my God
and country. Humbly let us pray.
I pledge allegiance to the flag,
Zapata Oil, the CIA.
Allegiances are not cheap.
Leave your number at the beep.

I was bothered 'bout the savings and loan,
So I picked up my telephone.
I was ready to make a big scene
When I got the President's answering machine.
It said, "Hello out there from Kennabunkport.
I'm out right now with my son Neil,
Doing loop-de-loops in my cigarette boat
With some oil men making deals.
The price of gas is still cheap.
Leave your number at the beep.