TRASH FISH
© Greg Keeler 1994

Wilderness Ranger

Well, you're up in the mornin' and out clearin' trail
To facilitate camping convenience.
You put on your pickle shirt, tuck in your tail.
Your hat says USFS Genius.
You carry a shovel and bury your waste.
Use your stove to avoid fire danger.
And camp at least 200 feet from the lake.
Its the code of the Wilderness Ranger.

And you know that your job will be doin' some good
When you do a camp-site inventory.
You broadcast the ashes and old fire wood
To rehab its wilderness glory.
Yes it's bust up the fire rings and count damaged trees.
Make it look like no one ever came her,
While your dodgin' the horse-flies mosquitoes, and bees.
It's the life of a Wilderness Ranger.

Well, it's gorp for your breakfast and gorp for your lunch.
For your dinner it's freeze-dried refritos.
For a snack, bring some sun-dried papayas to munch,
And an energy bar and come Cheetos.
You pick up the pieces of melted tin-foil.
Make it look like no one ever came here.
Be sure that your water is filtered or boiled.
It's the code of the Wilderness Ranger.

Well, you hike till your feet are all blistered and sore,
Then you hike till there's blisters on blisters.
Don't stop to ask what you are doin' it for,
My wilderness brothers and sisters.
Just hang all your food from the limb of a tree
To minimize camp-site bear danger.
With bites on your elbows and scabs on your knees,
You're a certified Wilderness Ranger.

Don't short-cut the switch-backs. Use leaves when you wipe.
Low impact's the rule from headquarters.
Keep wilderness pristine, at least till you sight
The clear-cuts that lie at the borders.